So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
