omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
