So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
