his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
