New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
