dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
