She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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