Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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