I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
