I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
