We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
