do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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