I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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