You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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