TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
