dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
