batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You've changed since you got that strap on
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
