Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
