Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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