3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
