her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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