you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
