I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
