In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize