Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize