we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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