okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i came on her dog
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
