I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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