Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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