Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
