yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
