we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
