STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
