She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
