Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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