TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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