sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
