worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
