oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
