What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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