Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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