i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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