So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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