I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
