I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
