Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
