That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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