two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
