Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
