What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
