i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
