no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
