Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize