that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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