He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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