fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pants are for mortals
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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