You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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