Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
