At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
