You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
