just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My bed smells like the plague
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
