i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
