The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
